George Versus Rob
Most cats are lazy, nothing new there but my cat George - he's incredibly lazy and like most cats manipulative too. Or maybe he's just supremely clever and I'm as daft as a brush! You decide.
6am: Meow meow meow scratch scrape - "Go away George it's 6am there's no way I'm feeding you and you're not coming in here with those muddy paws"
Yes, I talk to the cat like he understands my English.
The next 10 minutes usually continue with a mix of him scratching and meowing culminating in me talking in my sternest voice! This usually does this trick and he gets the message. However, the damage is done and I'm awake so after a little fiddle on my phone I usually get up at around 7am and go downstairs to be met by Mr swishy tail, looking at me and then looking at his bowl, looking at his bowl then looking at me oscillating back and forth a time or two, sometimes sniffing at it or licking it to accentuate the point.
"Feed me puny human!!"
It's funny, cos sometimes I say to myself (and to the cat) no, you woke me up (again) so you can wait a while. Which is pathetic of me really as it takes but seconds to load his bowl and he of course doesn't understand that waking me up isn't a great idea; after all to him, it means food, albeit eventually.
Yet, for that 10 minutes or so whilst I drink my coffee and eat my toast I feel a slight sense of victory! The fact that I know he's just itching to scoff his food down in milliseconds as he swishes around by ankles feigning affection for me makes it all the little better that I was made to get up earlier than I wanted to. Yet cave I do and I watch as he shovels his Felix down his neck like some never before fed rotund furry mound of hungriness.
He'll then lose all interest in my existence - with a swish of his tail (almost in disdain) he'll glide through the cat flap and sit outside the backdoor, self satisfied and smug at his ability to bend the puny human to his will.
